The Great Indian Alarm Clock Betrayal

By: Someone who has hit ‘Snooze’ more times than career milestones

Every night, I go to bed with the optimism of a motivational poster. “Tomorrow,” I tell myself, “I’ll wake up early, meditate, go for a jog, have a healthy breakfast, maybe even read a book.”

Then morning comes — and I am reborn as a different person. A person who negotiates with the alarm clock like it’s a ransom situation.

The first ring goes off at 6:00 a.m. I hit snooze.
6:05 — snooze.
6:10 — snooze again, with the confidence of a man who truly believes five minutes can change his life.

By 6:30, my alarm app has lost faith in me. Even it seems to sigh before ringing.

The real tragedy? I don’t even need five more minutes of sleep. I just want five more minutes of denial — a spiritual pause before facing reality, emails, and human interaction.

On particularly ambitious days, I set five alarms: 6:00, 6:10, 6:20, 6:30, and 6:45. You’d think that would work. But no. My brain treats them like background music. Once, I even dreamed I was in a nightclub — the DJ was literally my alarm ringtone.

My mother, of course, finds this hilarious. “In our time,” she says, “we didn’t need alarms. The body had discipline.”
I wanted to tell her my body has discipline — it just disciplines me to stay in bed.

Last week, I finally decided to “hack my sleep” with a smart alarm app that claims to track REM cycles. It analyzed my data and sent a report:

“You experience high emotional resistance to mornings.”

In simpler words — I’m lazy. But scientific.

And so, every morning, I continue my eternal battle with the alarm clock. It’s a toxic relationship — full of lies, false hope, and broken promises.

Still, I set it again every night. Because hope, like my alarm, never stops ringing.