Surviving My Family WhatsApp Group

By: A brave soul who still hasn’t muted it permanently

There are two kinds of people in the world: those who leave WhatsApp groups, and those who are emotionally blackmailed into staying.

I belong to the second category.

It started innocently enough — “Family Group 💖” — created by my aunt, who believes emojis are punctuation. Within an hour, it had 37 members, most of whom I didn’t even know existed. There was a “Chintu Mama” from Dubai, a “Bobby Cousin” from Canada, and one mysterious number saved as “Aunty?”

Every morning begins with a flood of messages:
🌞 Good morning family
🌹 Have a blessed day
🌻 Share if you love your mother

If I forget to reply with at least one heart emoji, my mother calls to check if I’m alive.

Afternoons are meme time. Someone always shares a blurry image of a laughing baby with text like “Smile! Life is short!” (Ironically sent by people who haven’t smiled since 1998.)

Then comes the “Fake News Hour.”
“Forwarded many times” messages start rolling in:

“NASA has confirmed India will have 7 suns next week.”
“Drinking turmeric with Wi-Fi off cures diabetes.”

I once politely pointed out that these were fake. Big mistake. My uncle replied, “Beta, you think you know more than NASA?”
At this point, even NASA doesn’t know what’s going on.

Evenings are when chaos peaks. A video of a dancing politician, followed by ten GIFs of Lord Ganesha, followed by a forwarded joke from 2004. The group is basically a museum of outdated content — lovingly curated by people who think Facebook is the Internet.

And yet… as much as I mock it, I can’t bring myself to leave.

Because amid all the forwards, fake cures, and unsolicited recipes, there are occasional gems — a photo of my grandparents smiling, or an old cousin wishing me luck before an exam.

So, yes, my family WhatsApp group is madness. But it’s our madness — noisy, affectionate, and permanently unmuted.